Watch Dogtooth again, anyone? After seeing the dark, sadistic and societal satire film for five times now, I knew I was ready for another of that kind. The news about the new Yorgos Lanthimos picture “Alps” were so few it seems like a torture in itself. Few stills were shown before its debut in TIFF and more so after winning Best Screenplay at the Venice International Film Festival. Good news? Lanthimos has released a teaser trailer for “Alps” plus a suspicious list of “The 15 Rules of the Alps” in its Facebook page, created hours ago. I have included the rules below and feel free to call shots to exactly what they mean.
1. Must declare in advance the things he or she is unwilling to do by filling out Form 1 (e.g. kissing, lifting weights, travelling, etc.).
2. Must also declare in advance the things he or she is good at by filling out Form 2 (e.g. dancing, waterskiing, discussing, etc.).
3. Must have some basic knowledge of psychology and sociology.
4. Is obliged to support, under all circumstances, the interests of the Alps group.
5. Must respect other Alps members.
6. Has the right to change their nickname only twice. They cannot choose a nickname belonging to another Alps member. The nickname must strictly be the name of a mountain in the Alps, and not something general or irrelevant (e.g. Blonde, Master, Dragon, etc.).
7. Can never talk about Alps activities with non-Alps members.
8. Is obliged to take the Gymnastics Club Test, if necessary.
9. Must be over 14 years of age.
10. Should always be smart, clean, punctual, and in complete control.
11. Must never get emotionally involved with clients, or have intimate relations with them.
12. Cannot change his or her physical appearance without the Leader’s permission (e.g. dye their hair, lose or gain weight, wear coloured contact lenses, etc.).
13. Must be able to make convincing facial expressions (sadness, happiness, despair, etc.).
14. Must honour the title of their membership, and be ready to kill or die for it.
15. Must never attack another Alps member, and must believe in teamwork.
Mont Blanc, Leader of the Alps group